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Breaking the Regular Rut

Have you ever felt like you’re not really good at anything? Like you don’t have any real skills or interests that are outside of the norm? If so, you and I have something in common. Contrarily to what you may think based on what I share on my blog, I’ve gone through most of my life feeling pretty regular. Yes, I realize that my lifestyle is unique, but in terms of who I am as a person, for as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I don’t bring anything unique to the table. I’ve felt like I’m not particularly special and don’t have much to offer. Because of that, I’ve struggled to determine my purpose.

I want you to know that if you’ve ever found yourself feeling “just regular,” you are not alone. In a world that seems full of brain surgeons, astronauts, models, athletes, politicians, ministers, and performers, sometimes it feels like those of us who don’t have any skills and interests that are out of the box go overlooked. The icing on the cake is that for me, so much of my life revolves around my husband’s skills and interests. So many aspects of our life are dictated by who he is, so often, who I am goes unnoticed.  Although those of us who can’t save a life or sing like Beyoncé may find ourselves feeling regular, the truth is, we are far from it.

Have you ever felt like you're just regular? I've been there too, but I guarantee you, that's the furthest thing from the truth!

A few weeks ago, as part of my quest towards spiritual wellness, I began an online Bible study with Proverbs 31 Ministries. In this study, called Worthy, we are reading She’s Still There by Crystal Evans Hurst, a book dedicated to helping women who may have wandered from their purpose to rescue the girl inside. In week 2, as I read Crystal’s story and God’s word and applied them to my own life, I realized that part of what’s been holding me back is not recognizing that I am special. As Crystal put it, we are all uniquely and divinely created, and it’s important that we remember that. No matter how “regular” our skills may feel, they are gifts from God that we have been given for a certain purpose. In the entire universe, there is no one quite like you. There is no one who has the exact same combination of skills, interests, and gifts that you do for the same purpose. You are special and you have something unique to share with this world.

You are uniquely and divinely created. #LiveLifeWell

To not remember that you are a divinely created masterpiece is to devalue yourself. Trust me, I know that it’s easier said thandone, but don’t dismiss your abilities, talents, and interests and how you can combine them to do something beautiful. Don’t sweep your gifts under the rug like I have for so many years. Make time to determine what you’re good at and what you love and how you can use all of that uniqueness to make an impact on one person, one hundred people, or one million people.

When our loved ones ask us what their good at, it’s often easy to name a whole list of things right off the top of our heads, but when someone asks us to do the same about ourselves, we draw a big, watermelon sized blank. It’s so important that we make time for the life-long journey of self-discovery in order the determine our skills and interests so that we can live our purpose and make that impact I was just talking about. The question is, how do we go about figuring these things out?

Earlier this week, I sat down with a cup of tea and a journal to spend some time doing just that, and to be honest, I had no idea where to start. To get my juices flowing, I decided to ask those closest to me what they thought to get some perspective, so I sent my mom and my husband matching text messages that read: “What do you think are my gifts? What are some things that I seem to be really interested in and passionate about?” When they both took what felt like an abnormal amount of time to respond, internally, I had a mini freak out and reverted to my old way of thinking. Maybe I wasn’t special after all and they were having a hard time thinking of my gifts and interests because I didn’t have any worth talking about. Of course, my freak out was premature, and they both gave me the answers that I needed to continue my own self-discovery session. My husband told me that I am nurturing, a good listener, and have a special way of speaking to people without talking “at” them. My mom shared that I’m a talented writer, put together outfits well, speak well to groups, and am excellent at multitasking and problem solving. They agreed that I seem interested in quite a few things including bringing people together, impacting the youth, reading, traveling, shopping, technology, and studying different religions and cultures. Their suggestions were just what I needed to create my own list.

So, what are you good at? What are your skills? Based on what my loved ones shared with me and what I came up with on my own, I’ve determined that my skills include speaking, writing, giving advice to others, and strategic planning and problem solving. Take a second to do some soul searching about your own skills. Even if they don’t seem grandiose, I promise you, they’re important.

What are your gifts? What are the things that you’ve always been drawn to doing or asked by others to do? I’m very organized, I’m a good listener and good at giving advice, and I have a knack for bringing people together. I also have a voice that, although hasn’t always seemed so special to me, has the ability to reach and touch others. Do some thinking about what your gifts may be.

What are you interested in? What sets your soul on fire? This one was, surprisingly, more difficult for me to answer. On the surface, I’m interested in traveling and studying other cultures. I enjoy reading, shopping, working out, watching TV series, and working with couples in some capacity. I also love creating – whether that be content, visuals, or plans that can be executed by others. But if you ask me what I’m really passionate about and what really sets my soul on fire, it’s always been taking other people along on my journeys. As a kid, I always remember begging my parents to let me invite friends on our vacations or special outings. I had this deep desire to expose people to things and to allow them to experience what I was experiencing. Now, while it’s not always as concrete as it once was, I have the same desire to share my experiences. Through LiveLifeWell I invite people along on my journeys. There’s something in my nature that has just always wanted to share and give others a front row seat so that they can learn, grow, and experience right along with me. So, what are you passionate about? Really dig deep here to determine what you love to do and think back to things that you’ve done to some capacity for your entire life.

My last question for you is this: how can you combine your skills, your gifts, and your interests to live your purpose? What can you do that involves what you’re good at, what you’ve always just been able to do naturally, and what you are truly passionate about? I haven’t quite answered this question for myself, but it’s something that I’m working on and praying about daily. I know that it involves writing, creating content, and using my voice to not only give advice, but to also allow people into my world and bring people together, and although I’m not quite sure what that looks like yet, I feel better knowing that the skills, gifts, and interests that I once thought were merely regular can be used to create something beautiful and impactful. The same is true for your skills, gifts, and interests because you too are unique and divinely created. You have something worth sharing and I can’t wait to see what it is!

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