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When to Agree to Disagree in Marriage

As much as I love all of the things that my husband and I have in common, I love our differences just as much. We are two very different people and although we share the same core values, we have different opinions on quite a few things. One of these things is the upcoming election. I’m a vote or die person. My father was a huge advocate of voting to ensure that our voices are heard, and I agree with him. I think it’s irresponsible not to vote and that we should vote for who we think is the best choice out of the options we are presented with. My husband, on the other hand, thinks of his vote as currency. His outlook is that his vote is like money and just like he wouldn’t spend money on something he didn’t really want, he shouldn’t give his vote to someone he doesn’t stand behind 100%, even if that person is the lesser of two evils. On this and many other things, my husband and I have decided to agree to disagree.

In marriage and any other relationship, it's OK to have differences of opinion. Find out when you should agree to disagree with your spouse.

In a marriage, or any other relationship, for that matter, it’s highly unlikely that two people will agree on everything. If you ask me, this is part of what makes marriage exciting. It makes for enlightening conversations, heated debates, and more than a few learning moments. While agreeing to disagree may not be ideal, it is completely acceptable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a difference in opinion from someone that you love and accepting that difference.

When to Agree to Disagree in Marriage

Have you and your spouse been having the same debate over and over again? It may be time to agree to disagree! In a marriage, agreeing to disagree means that you will tolerate your significant other’s opposing view, but that you don’t necessarily accept it. It means that your spouse is free to live his or her truth while you are free to live yours.  You can agree to disagree on any issue that doesn’t require both of your consent or that will not impact your life directly (for example, you can’t just agree to disagree on whether or not you will have children – but you can agree to disagree on whether the Cavaliers or the Warriors are the better basketball team). Before you agree to disagree with your significant other, you should always try to understand his or her point of view (and vice versa). Agreeing to disagree comes when both parties recognize that continuing to talk about the topic would be unnecessary and ineffective. Basically, you should agree to disagree when both of you recognize that there’s nothing that the other person could say or do that would change your mind about the issue at hand.

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I voted early last week. I sent my husband a picture of my “I’m a Georgia Voter” sticker and he responded with clapping emojis. Although he made the decision not to send in an absentee ballot from France to vote in this year’s presidential election, he supported my decision to do what I believed in. Similarly, although I don’t agree with his stance on this issue, I understand it. There’s nothing that he could have done or said to keep me from voting and there’s nothing that I could have done or said to get him to the polls, and that’s OK. I realize that his outlook and passion on this and similar matters is part of the reason that I fell in love with him in the first place. We still love each other just as much. We still respect each other. We still want to spend the rest of out lives together. We can be different and still live happily ever after.

What are some issues that you and your significant other agree to disagree on?

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