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Why You Will Never Find True Love

Feature of the Month by Linda D. Lowe of

Are you all ready for Christmas? I’m certainly ready. I’ve been in the Christmas spirit since June. Well, I’ve been playing Christmas music since then. I know. A little early right? There are just certain Christmas songs I love to listen to year round. One of my favorite things about Christmas, besides all of the beautiful lights, are the songs. Especially the romance/ love songs like Baby It’s Cold Outside. That song is very entertaining and hilarious at the same time. The woman recognizes that it’s getting late and although she has had such an amazing time (and she wants to stay) she has to get home or else her family will worry and the neighbors will be talking “tomorrow”. The guy on the other hand doesn’t want her to leave so his focus is on convincing her to stay no matter what her family or the neighbors might think. If I could rename this song for today’s culture, I’d name it “Baby It’s Cuffin’ Season”.

If you’re not familiar with the term “cuffin’ season” it’s pretty simple. People want to stay warm for the winter by having someone else to cuddle up next to for as long as it is cold. But how many times can one be cuffed before wanting to stay in the arms of that special someone for the rest of their lives?

As for this time of year singles that don’t just want to be cuffed can have it rough. Too often our thoughts can focus solely on the fact that we are still single and have no true love. No one to sit by the fireplace and cuddle with. No one to kiss under the mistletoe and no one to share the romance of the season with. Sure it’s cuffing season but you want more than that. You want a spouse.

As a single woman I understand the desire to want the love of a spouse. To have someone to come home to, laugh with, have children with, travel with and grow old with. As a single woman I also understand that relationships take more than love and can be a lot of work. I spent many years contemplating if I ever wanted to marry or be in a relationship. In fact, my last relationship was 13 years ago. Yup, I just heard that “wow” and saw that look on your face. I get it all the time when I share that with people. Believe me when I say, I was way too preoccupied to focus on a relationship, situationship, cuffin’ or anything else of the like. I’m sure some of you are probably thinking though “all I want to do is find true love” and there is nothing wrong with that or at least we think. We certainly have this idea in our minds of what true love is and isn’t. Those Disney movies growing up programed us to believe that men would come in and rescue women. He would be our Knight and Shining Armor. Women would have that princess wedding and the two would live happily ever after. Well now that we are all grown up we know that fairytales are just that fairytales.

When will you find true love? Why does it seem so difficult to find true love? All you want for Christmas is a bae (that truly loves you not another cuffing boo) underneath the Christmas Tree.

True love is romantic and delightful but finding true love is just like those fairytales we grew up watching. Yes, it’s a fantasied thought that media has embedded in our minds to make us think that we too can find it. Don’t look at me like that. Stay with me because I’m going somewhere.

Do you want to know why you’ll never find true love? Of course you do even if you’re thinking that you don’t. True love isn’t something that is found. It is something that’s created by two people who are willing to truly love. Let me explain. No person comes readymade just for you and you don’t come readymade just for them. Sure you were sold the idea that Ms. or Mr. Right would be “perfect” and you bought it. I want you to exchange that idea for the truth. We are all unique. Meaning we have different character traits and personalities that are unique to who we are. Therefore, we must learn how to adapt to others character traits and know when to adjust ours. That’s if we want to. We have to learn how to work together, how to communicate and understand each other, and therefore how to truly love someone else other than ourselves. We teach people how to love us by sharing with them what hurts us, what makes us happy and so on. If they are not willing and if we are not willing to love them how they need to be loved than we will not be able to create true love with them. We create, shape and mold the kind of love we want to have, that is, if we are willing to truly love.

So, as you celebrate this holiday season, whether you’re cuffed or not, I want you to rethink what it really means to love and become that person that will truly love.

I read this quote on Facebook the other day and it said: When a woman is loved correctly she becomes ten times the woman she was before. I agree and the same for a man. Let’s learn how to truly love.

In this month's feature of the month, Linda D. Lowe sets the record straight about true love.

Linda D. Lowe is a life coach, a motivational speaker, an author, and the host of an online radio show called “The Linda D. Lowe Show.” On her blog, she writes about the single life, dating, spirituality, and parenting.

Check out her blog and be sure to follow along on social media!

What are your thoughts about true love?

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