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Wives Who WERK: Mrs. Toya Carter

I’m passionate about love and marriage and even more passionate about helping other wives to discover their passions and chase their dreams while maintaining happy, healthy marriages. As wives, we are the real MVPs. We juggle so many different things and each and every one of us WERKS in one way or another (whether that be by holding a traditional job outside of the home, managing our own blog, business, or brand, or doing something totally different). I’m a firm believer that this is something that should be celebrated, and that’s why I created LiveLifeWell’s monthly Wives Who WERK segment. Each month, I will be interviewing a wife in order to celebrate her and what she does. I would love to feature you! If you’re a wife who would be interested in being featured or if you want to nominate someone else, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Wives Who Werk interview featuring Mrs. Toya Carter

I couldn’t be more excited to feature Mrs. Toya Carter as my first wife who WERKS. Toya, who is a mother of two, has a master’s degree in counseling. She works outside of the home while also finding time to be a relationship and empowerment coach, author, and speaker. She is admittedly fueled by coffee and Hennessy, and with all that she does, I can totally see why! She is all about helping people to create the lives and relationships that they want and it was an absolute pleasure to interview her for this segment.

Toya

Wives Who WERK Interview: Mrs. Toya Carter

What makes you more than a wifey?

Because I do it all lol. No seriously along with being a wife and mom I work outside the home, and I am building a business and brand. I love my family and they always come first. However, I did not cease being a person when I got married. I had dreams and aspirations before them and will continue to pursue them. I pursue my dreams now because of my family not in spite of my family. Being my husband’s wife is amazing but I know my purpose is so much more.

How did you determine your passion?

I have always loved helping others. I am “that friend”, when you have a problem you call me. My mom told me I have been a therapist since I was 5. I knew I was destined to help others when I quit my job as a therapist. I started working more of a desk job, and was making probably $20,000 more a year and I was MISERABLE. I was super unfulfilled and finally understood what people meant when they said “all money ain’t good money.” The whole 3 months I worked there I kept saying “I’m a therapist, I’m a therapist” like it was some sort of mantra. Eventually I took my pay cut and went back to what I love.

So I always knew helping others was my thing. Some of my favorite clients were the ones who came in with relationship issues. I can talk about relationships all day. I love all things love and marriage. After I got married it seemed like a natural transition to relationship coach. The empowerment piece came from frustrations of being told that since I am married my life was basically over. I just want to empower women and let them know they can be awesome wives and more.

Tell us your love story! How did you  and your hubby meet? How long you been married?

We actually met online. Wow, I used to be totally embarrassed to say this aloud. Now I am proud. I would have never met this amazing man had I not been on that site. We had our first date and actually got engaged at Chillis. It was a great day my daughter scored a goal in soccer and I scored a ring. We have been married 2.5 years.

Mrs. Toya Carter

How has your husband supported you and your dreams?

He is my biggest supporter, cheerleader, and fan, but he also forces me to be better. When I want to quit he never lets me. If I say it is too hard he tells me to do it anyway. When I said no one would buy my book he told me they would. On a more practical note he entertains our kids when I have deadlines, or need to do research. We also don’t conform to gender rules at our home. If he needs to change a diaper, cook, clean, or however he can support me he does it. He is also an entrepreneur so he understands the grind, and that helps a lot.

How do you balance your marital and household responsibilities and your career and blog?

I don’t try to do it all every day is the simple answer. Some days are just for my family and everything else can wait (unless it’s major). I am a huge planner and to do list type of person. I am a huge Google fan. Like so huge they need to partner with me. My google apps keep me focused from my Calendar with the goal feature, to the Keep app, and more. I LOVE them! I also like to prepare as much as possible in advance this includes meal prep, clothes for the week, anything that can be done in advance I try to do. I use my time and technology wisely. This can mean working later in the night after the kids are sleep and even using my voice recorder app during my commute to work so my best ideas are not lost.

What is your biggest piece of marital advice for other wives?

It will not always be easy, so remember why you got married when it gets hard.

Where do you see yourself, your family, and your career and blog in 5 years?

As far as my family we will still be together loving one another and pursuing our goals. My daughter will be 16 so driving for her I am sure will be big. My son will be in 1st grade at that time. For my husband I hope his business has expanded and he has met is goals. For me I want to be Steve Harvey’s Dr. Phil. I want to appear on his show as a relationship expert and help women find love and balance. I want to publish more books, become a world renowned speaker, and still have time for my coaching clients. I plan to take my business to the next level. I want my business to afford me a laptop lifestyle so I am able to work from anywhere. When this happens I will actually be able to help more people. I eventually want to hire a small team to help me run things, so this too will empower others as it will provide them with income, and experience. I want my business to be a stepping stone for people to go off and be great.

Be sure to check out Toya’s blog, pre-order her book, and follow her on social media!

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