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3 Questions to Ask Yourself During an Argument

Newsflash! Couples argue and my husband and I are no different. In any relationship, it’s highly unlikely that two people are going to see eye to eye on everything. Couples that say they never argue are probably lying. The truth of the matter is, an argument is not the end of the world. Arguments differ from fights and are honestly a chance for both parties to share their opinions and hash things out. While they’re not always fun, they are usually necessary. Although tough conversations need to take place, it’s important to ask yourself a number of questions before and during an argument to make sure that the argument is worth having, that the timing is right, and that you are communicating effectively. Because these questions may differ between men and women, I’m sharing the 3 questions I ask myself during an argument as well as the 3 questions my husband told me that he asks himself.

3 Questions to Ask Yourself During an Argument

3 Questions to Ask Yourself During an Argument

His:

  1. Am I making an attempt to see things from her perspective? As men, we can be stubborn and so many times we don’t even try to see things from the other person’s point of view. It’s important that when we’re arguing with our ladies, we make an attempt to put ourself in her shoes.

  2. Am I getting my message across effectively? If we’re not getting our message across effectively, we may as well save our breath. It’s really important to consider if we’re communicating effectively. How the other person hears us is honestly more important than what we say.

  3. Is this argument worth her happiness? Fellas, pick your battles. I always ask myself if the conversation we’re about to have is even worth it. I know my wife can be emotional and I know that it takes her longer to get over things that it takes me, so I weight whether or not it’s even worth it and often, I decide that it’s really not.

Hers: 

  1. Am I overreacting? Ladies, it’s no secret that we are the queens of making mountains out of molehills. Always ask yourself whether or not you’re overreacting. It’s important to pick your battles, and some things that we think are big deals in one moment turn out to be small in the grand scheme of things.

  2. Is what I’m thinking of saying hitting below the belt? One thing that I learned early in my relationship is that during arguments, I go for blood. When we were dating, I used to say some really hurtful things during arguments that I wished I could take back after the fact. Now, I ALWAYS think about what I’m going to say before I say it and make sure that my message is one that will be constructive. There is absolutely no point at trying to deliberately hurt someone during an argument because it doesn’t solve a thing.

  3. Is this the right time to have this conversation? Timing is everything. Starting an argument around a bunch of people or having an important conversation during game 7 of the NBA finals is probably not the best idea. It’s OK to make a mental note to bring something up later and hold off until the time is right.


NEWSFLASH! Couples argue! Be sure to ask yourself these three questions during an argument with your significant other

What questions do you ask yourself during an argument?

 

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